LITTLE Mark ON MATHS
>
> A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and
> you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little
MARK.
>
> He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
>
> The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
thinking."
>
> Then little MARK says, "I have a question for YOU.
>
> There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
>
> One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
> The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
>
> The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
> Which one is married?"
>
> The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one
> that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
>
> To which Little MARK replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the
> Wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."
>
>
>
> LITTLE MARK ON MATHS (Part 2)
>
> Little MARK returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic
>
> "Why?" asks the father?
>
> "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'" I said "6", replies MARK.
>
> "But that's right!" says his dad.
>
> "Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3x2?'"
>
> "What's the **cking difference?" asks the father
>
> "That's what I said!"
>
> LITTLE M ARK ON ENGLISH
>
> Little MARK goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going
> to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of
> a multi-syllable word?"
>
> MARK says "Mas-tur-bate."
>
> Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little MARK, that's a mouthful."
>
> Little MARK says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
>
> LITTLE MARK ON GRAMMAR
>
> Little MARK was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
> to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
piss!!"
>
> The teacher replied, 'Now, MARK, that is NOT the proper word to use in
> this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please
> use the word 'ur-I-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow You
> to go."
>
> Little MARK, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if
> you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
>
> LITTLE MARK ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)
>
> One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the
> same sentence twice.
>
> First, she called! On little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
> bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
>
> "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> Michael.
>
> "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
>
> She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on
> little MARK.
>
> "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
> Pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just *8cking beautiful!'"
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