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 Jest in taaim for Krismis ...

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Warrefok
Entheos


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Number of posts : 1056
Age : 68
Location : Pretoria - South Africa
Registration date : 2007-10-18

PostSubject: Jest in taaim for Krismis ...   Mon Dec 03, 2007 11:03 am



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PostSubject: and da Christmas party.....   Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:48 am

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: October 01, 2007

RE: Christmas Party



I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take

place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at

the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll

have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along.

And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A

Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts among employees

can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make

the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only

for employees! Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty





FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: October 02, 2007

RE: Holiday Party



In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish

employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which

often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.

However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same

policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those

still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree

present. No Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for

your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty





FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: October 03, 2007

RE: Holiday Party



Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous

requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy

to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads,

"AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to

handle this?

Somebody?

Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since

the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives

believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.

NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.



FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

To: All Employees

DATE: October 04, 2007

RE: Holiday Party



What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the

Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during

daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a

luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees'

beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until

the end of the party- or else package everything for you to take it home

in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for

members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and

pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are

allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay

men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower

arrangement for the Gay men's table. To the person asking permission to

cross dress, no cross-dressing allowed though. We will have booster

seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a

diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those

people with high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh

fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar"

desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty





FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All F*cking Employees

DATE: October 05, 2007

RE: The F*cking Holiday Party



Vegetarian pr*cks I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep

this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit

quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so

quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*cking salad bar, including

organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream

when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream

right NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die,

The B*tch from H*ELL!!!!!!!!





FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director

DATE: October 06, 2007

RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party



I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery

and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime,

management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the

afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.



Happy Holidays!
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PostSubject: Re: Jest in taaim for Krismis ...   Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:55 am

lol! BigLaugh bloody excellent, Drew!!!! BigLaugh BigLaugh
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Warrefok
Entheos


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Number of posts : 1056
Age : 68
Location : Pretoria - South Africa
Registration date : 2007-10-18

PostSubject: Re: Jest in taaim for Krismis ...   Tue Dec 04, 2007 9:01 am

Drewberryboy wrote:
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: October 01, 2007

RE: Christmas Party


He he he he he he he ... BigLaugh
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PostSubject: Re: Jest in taaim for Krismis ...   Today at 9:10 pm

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