This is soooooo me....
I was buying a large bag of Eukanuba (Dog food) at Pick and Pay and standing
in line at the check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Eukanuba Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 22 kilos before I awakened in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pockets with Eukanuba nuggets and simply eat one or
two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so
I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting
in the street licking my b@lls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard
as he staggered out the door.
Stupid b!tch...why else would I buy dog food??